[Untitled]

There is no flock, however washed and tended,
     But one black sheep is there!
There is no housen-stuff, however splendid,
     But has one granny-chair!

The air is full of huge mesquitoes, trying 
     To bore us till we're dead;
The shrieks of Rachel and her children's crying
     Will not be silenc'ed.

Do let's be easy! these rough rubs and frictions
     Not from the ground arise ;
But oft are they hid cures for our afflictions, 
     Like pills in apple pies!

We feel but slimly with the "blues" and "vapors,"
     Poor plodding earthly scamps;
What seem to others real funny capers
     Have given us dolorous damps.

There is no Rest, what seems so is perdition;
     This life of wasted breath
Is but a hubbub [we’ve a strong suspicion], 
     That’s ten times worse than Death.

What if we wed the girl of our affection?
     We've gone into that school
Where rods and ferru'es were a slight correction,
     And woman's tongue doth rule.

In some great closet's stillness and seclusion,
     By guardian angels led,
Safe from the tumult, safe from the confusion,
     We creep — behind the bed!

Hour after hour we think "what is she doing
     With that din everywhere?"
Day after day her coming footsteps rueing,
     Beholds us hiding there.

Thus do we walk from her, and keep unbroken 
     The sconce, that kind o' gives
Twinges of sharp remembrance, that if spoken 
     Might reach her where she lives.

Not for the world would we again behold her!
     For when, with terror wild,
We felt th' embraces of that mortal scolder, 
     She wallop’d us like a child!

A pretty maiden in her father's shantee, 
     Clothed cheaply, but with grace, 
And beautiful at kitchen-work or pantry,
     We first beheld her face:

But now at times impetuous with emotion, 
     And anger long-suppressed,
Her swelling spunk heaves grumbling like the ocean.
     That cannot be at rest.

Yet we'll be patient; what's the use o' "feezing?"
     We'll 'cut' when we can't stay -
By prudent flight escaping, not appeasing
     The wrath that will have way!